“Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam
When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze
For the holidays you can’t beat home, sweet home”
How many of us remember that Maxwell House coffee commercial when the college student returns home for Christmas early in the morning? The parents awake to the aroma of fresh coffee brewing and run down to the kitchen for a wonderfully heart-warming holiday surprise.
Aahhh, the magic of television.
When your students arrive home from college for the holiday break, chances are they are going to be a little different than when you dropped them off in August. They have experienced independence and freedom on campus, keep late night schedules, eat and sleep whenever they choose, and may have a few new opinions and views on life.
Understand that when students come home there can be a period of readjustment. They have been used to the freedoms and autonomy campus life offers. There may also be some readjustment for siblings as well. They may need to recall what it was like to share space, the television, and your attention.
Therefore…there might be some readjustment for you too.
One of the best ways to prepare for this is to have some conversations with your student before they come home. To make the transition go smoothly you may want to consider discussing the following:
- Ask them is there anything you should know before they get home. What color is their hair? Are there any new tattoos or piercings you should know about? New relationships? How about their grades? Getting these items out and on the table early makes for a less tense holiday dinner and more relaxing break.
- Share any holiday plans upfront so that everyone is on board. Is family coming to visit, or are we all traveling to visit Aunt Sally in Minnesota?
- What are some of their favorite traditions that you want to make sure you do?
- What are their plans for the break? Will they be working a job? Visiting friends? How are you going to share the family car?
- Are there appointments that need to be scheduled? Break is a great time to schedule overdue doctor or dental appointments.
It’s also helpful to discuss and negotiate the ground rules for over break. Many parents subscribe to the idea that “Nothing good happens after midnight”, but students are used to starting their evenings when you are probably going to bed. Will you have a reasonable curfew for them? How late is too late to sleep in the morning? “Can I order a pizza at 11:30 at night?”
Equally important is to ask and listen to what their semester has been like. It doesn’t matter if they are a freshmen or a senior, the chances are they have some great stories and experiences to share.
We here at Southern Vermont College wish all of our families a happy and safe holiday season and an enjoyable semester break. Enjoy the time to get to know the person your student is becoming. The changes might be slight or major, and you might be proud or a little confused. Be sure to acknowledge what you see, especially the positive growth and achievements.
Who knows, maybe they will surprise you with freshly brewed coffee and warm muffins in the morning.
